Mommy Issues - Placements, Types, & Meanings

Mommy issues. Dealing with an unstable, possibly unsupported, adult woman as a child can bring about many "interesting" or "funny" stories. Here we can dive into placements to look for, aspects to inspect, and how they might affect your adult life.

Here we have Placements & Aspects to look for in a chart relating to the mother, family, and motherhood:

• The moon

• The Asteroid Ceres

• Any and all 4th house placements

• Aspects to the moon from other planets such as Saturn, Chiron, Mars, Pluto, Lilith, etc.

Motherly figures and the immediate family are most famously represented by the moon. Some have said your moon placement can indicate how your mother or your immediate family saw you as a child. For instance, a child with a Scorpio moon born to a mother whose detached from emotions or a mother who may have a lot of air sign placements may struggle to understand the intensity of their child. They may also be suspicious of their kid, seeing them as one not to be trusted. This can differ with a Scorpio or a Cancer mother who may clash with their kid due to the emotional intensity being harsh on both sides, or they may feel kinship. Placements are always complex and can differ in how they manifest based on what other areas in the chart they aspect.

The Asteroid Ceres is associated with motherhood, agriculture, fertility. Ceres also represents how one may nurture and the types of nurturing one may respond to. A child with Ceres in Pisces may struggle with a parent who has Ceres in Scorpio. Ceres in Pisces prefers and desires a gentle approach filled with affection and kindness rather than harsh lessons and truths. Scorpios, as loyal and affectionate as they can be will more often nurture with intensity that can become overbearing. Scorpios will always seek out transformation and rebirth, which in its nature is overwhelming. Ceres in Scorpio, while often being overprotective and borderline codependent with their child, will encourage growth, even when it's painful, maybe especially when it's painful. They may push their child to perform on stage when the child has stage fright, or they may encourage their kid to hold spiders when the child has arachnophobia. They believe that through difficult trials, they can overcome and be "reborn" with new strength and new wisdom. This can be well received, or it can become traumatic. Regardless, Ceres plays a very large part in how a child develops into an adult and how they may nurture their children in the future.

The 4th house is similar to the moon. This house rules your roots. The sign this house is in may indicate what your childhood was like. A person with 4th house in Taurus could indicate a somewhat stable childhood but it could also indicate that while growing up stability was under threat and money was tight. A person with the 4th house in Aries would likely have had a very intense childhood without a lot of stability. They may have been an angry child or a child that was stuck around very self-centered adults. People I have known with this placements struggled with teenage homelessness, losing their fathers in a variety of ways such as abandonment or death, and a very rocky relationship with a mother who was not taking care of them properly.

Aspects paired with the moon or ceres or planets that may reside in the 4th house will often give more of a story as to what was going on. For instance, Saturn (which relates to the father and responsibility) being opposite the moon could indicate that the father was at odds with the mother or there was tension there. It could also indicate that each affectionate moment was overshadowed by some criticism or judgment. The moon in conjunction with Lilith could indicate wounds or pain stemming from your mother, or even that your relationship with her was very intense. Moon conjunct Mars could indicate that your mother was emotional and intense as well. It could indicate a mother who was angry or rageful often, and that may have scared you or worse, given you anger problems that matched hers.

The most obvious placements I come across that scream mommy issues:

• Saturn aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

• Sun aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

• Chiron aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

• Lilith aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

• Pluto aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

• Mars aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

• Virgo placements in Moon, Ceres, or 4th house

• Scorpio placements in Moon, Ceres, or 4th house

• 8th house placements in Moon or Ceres

• 12th house placements in Moon or Ceres

The types of mommy issues you may or may not experience can depend on what planets are interacting within your own chart, as well as how your mother's chart interacts with yours.

Saturn aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

With Saturn aspecting the moon, Ceres, or your 4th house, you may have a complicated relationship with nurturing. Your father may have had an intense or possibly distant or cold relationship with your mother, which affected how you viewed both of them, depending on who you felt was "failing" the other. Because your Saturn, which represents responsibility, structure, discipline, etc, is directly at odds or at least in the room with your placement (moon, Ceres, 4th house) relating to nurturing, this can cloud the view you have of either one. For instance, you may struggle deeply with feeling out of place at work. Challenges may feel less like something you can conquer and more like an unachievable goal that leaves you feeling like a failure. Criticism of your work effort may leave you feeling raw and vulnerable. You can also struggle with receiving or providing any form of nurturing to others. That sort of softness makes you feel a strange resentment. You end up associating needing gentleness from others as weakness. You can be overly hard on yourself when you get too deep into your own emotions. You can be overly hard on others, believing they just need to "get it together". You could also have a terrible mix of both of these problems which leaves you in a frequent state of turmoil, being both incredibly critical and incredibly sensitive. With an aspect like this, it is important to come to terms with your parents' relationship to each other and yourself. These are yin and yang types of energies, and as people, we need both to survive. We nurture ourselves and others so that when the time comes to face challenges and hardship or take care of our responsibilities, we have that strength. Fueling yourself with shame instead of love will only hurt you in the long run. It is also important to separate the emotion from work and hardship in your life. Bad things happen sometimes, we all fail or fall and we get up again. It is not a reflection of you being a bad person. In situations where there is no time for comfort or hiding, try to use these times to become strong and see what you are capable of, do not let this be a situation that is used to fuel your own self-doubt. Being uncomfortable for a while does not have to be traumatic. Think of each trial as training and not some final test of your own merit. You may fail and that is okay but try your best and be proud of that.

Sun aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

Each placement brings its own flavor to your relationship to yourself and others. With the sun interacting with these placements, you can find yourself feeling disconnected from who you view as yourself and the way you feel or get emotional. This can vary depending on if your sun is opposite your moon, or conjunct, (or trine or squaring). Your sun relates to ego, drive, and your identity. If your moon is conjunct with the sun here, you can feel at one with your emotions frequently. You may be too forward with them, too intense and honest about how you feel, compared to others who may be more reserved. This mother here may have been in your father's good graces, acting as a team rather than two people at war. Your mother may have also been more intense, replicating an almost Aries type of energy, unashamed of what others may associate with weakness (femininity, emotion, motherhood) On the other hand in a situation where the sun is opposing your moon, your mother may have been reluctant to express her emotional needs, especially to your father. You may have a strange desire in turn to set aside your own needs in order to provide for others emotional needs or simply to strive for what you want in life. There is a strong energy of indecisiveness here. This may come from experiencing very different desires from your parents on what they wanted from you. Your father and mother were likely two very different people and this may have left you feeling like the rope in a game of tug o' war.

Chiron aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

Bringing Chiron to this party can be like bringing your therapist (who is also kind of a jerk) to a dinner party with your parents. Instead of being helpful and making comments to you only about how your parents are being dysfunctional, Chiron is loud here, possibly acting as a mirror for your parents to see the worst parts of themselves within you. Chiron's presence seems to make you a massive target for either parent to jump at. Chiron is the wounded healer. There have been interpretations of this asteroid that, instead of this being an asteroid to utilize in healing yourself, it is a mirror to indicate things you may never heal from. And instead of healing or focusing on that, using that injury to gather insight and help others who may struggle with similar problems. With the moon, Ceres, or the 4th house sitting here, your mother may have either targeted you with criticism, gone to you for healing her own pains, or caused some other variation of a wound that left you feeling alone and motherless.

Lilith aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

Lilith on the other hand is like bringing your evil friend (or worst enemy) to a dinner party with your parents. Whatever pain or trauma inflicted here had a cruel edge to it that left you with a jagged scar rather than a clean cut. Regardless of how your mother was to you, it was intense. If it was physical violence, it was harsh. If it was criticism, it left you feeling raw in ways you could not begin to describe. Here your mother may have seen parts of you that reminded her of either her own trauma or the worst parts of who she was and she absolutely took it out on you. She may have been overly emotional but then would lecture you about the exact same behavior. She may have this strange way of always keeping an eye on you either because she feels you may hurt yourself or end up hurting her in some way. This could also have been entirely different; rather than focusing on you, she may have avoided you altogether in the same way we avoid a bad photo of ourselves posted on someone else's Facebook. There is a desperation present within you. It may come from rage, or sadness, or loneliness, or some horrid combination of all three. Whatever your feelings towards your mother here, longing or a desire for justice, they are big feelings. Be wary that you don't lash out at others who try to nurture you or be kind. Watch yourself when it comes to tapping into that motherly nature. It can feel very complicated and the last thing you would want is to hurt someone you care about. Lilith relates to our darker selves. It is often associated with what has been done to us and what we are capable of doing to others. It relates to our shame, our bitterness, and can be utilized to clearly view are darkest parts with clarity and understanding. Here within Lilith, you are a wounded, angry animal. Dangerous and vulnerable. In the same way we might attempt to help a tiger in the jungle who can no longer walk, we approach this part of ourselves slowly and carefully. Try writing down your worst fears when it comes to your mother, or being nurtured. Write out why they scare you. Talk about this with close, trusted friends. Read articles on what the hell might be wrong with you, as we all do from time to time. Most importantly, be patient. There is no rush to heal right this second. Go slow and take the time to "bandage the wound".

Pluto aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

Pluto here can be similar to Lilith, but usually in a less direct sense. There is certain Scorpionic energy here. Pluto deals with death, darker taboo subjects, and rebirth. Pluto is also one of these generational signs that change very slowly. Pluto for most Gen Z individuals is in Sagittarius. Millennials usually have Pluto in Scorpio. Gen X is Pluto in Libra, and Boomers have Pluto in Virgo. If you look at how each generation deals with darker, painful topics such as war and natural disaster, you will notice that Gen Z seems to be the most chatty and humorous about it. Millennials are more serious and morbid, Gen X tends towards escapism, and Boomers tend to be the most critical and "practical," usually parroting that old "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." This can very much affect your attitude towards your mother and the pain that may be present there. Gen Z will be angry about it, fiery at times but also holding that muted understanding that shit happens and we deal with it I guess. Millennials will usually be the most emotional about it, mulling over it time and time again to try to figure out why and where this pain is coming from and how they can "transform" it and stop it. Gen X will either romanticize it (I say this not as a negative because this form of coping is still a form of coping) or they will do all in their power to distract from it. Boomers will deny that it even exists, finding themselves internally critical of their struggles in a never-ending drive towards perfection. Here, your mother is a direct source of death, rebirth, and transformation. Take that as a positive or a negative.

Mars aspecting the Moon, Ceres, or the 4th house

Mars here makes for an angry mom, or possibly an angry child. There is a strong energy here of many arguments with your mother, and possibly anger issues that were passed on to you. Your mother here may have been an instigator, either with you or others in your life. Unfortunately, this may mess up your style of nurturing, taking the "brutal honesty" approach with others instead of leading with compassion. You may lecture someone who hurt themselves in an effort to argue them out of hurting themselves in the future. This never works. Do not do this. Resolving anger issues is not easy, especially when they are wrapped up in planets that revolve around emotions and sensitivity. You may find yourself angry crying easily. You may get sad when you get angry or become angry when you feel sad. Practice walking away when you feel yourself getting fired up. If you feel down, it may bring you comfort to do something athletic or get some energy out in some way. Taking a brisk walk or doing an activity like going to a party can help calm yourself down. Avoid getting too heated in arguments or risk saying something you will regret. Seek therapy for sure, and be honest with them about why you are there.

Virgo placements in Moon, Ceres, or 4th house

Virgo placements regarding the mother impose a heavy energy of criticism and striving for perfection within yourself that can never be reached. Some have said that wherever Virgo resides, so does your shame. You may find yourself resisting the softer parts of nurturing and instead take on a practical approach. When someone is struggling, you may offer to help them get organized rather than offering a classic hug and shoulder to cry on. This can be quite valuable, so do not be ashamed of this part of yourself. It is, however, important to be loving in an emotional way rather than always focusing on the everyday tasks at hand. Your mother was probably very practical. She was likely critical and possibly passive-aggressive at times. This is her way of loving you even when it becomes toxic and mean. Virgo here wants themselves and everyone around them to be their "best selves". Mothering in such a fashion can result in comments on one's weight, look, health, cleanliness, and any other practical area of life. This directly opposes the Pisces energy of loving and can be damaging in the long run. Forgive yourself and others for their shortcomings and repeat to yourself that everyone is going to fall short in some way, no matter how hard we try, and that is okay! If you struggle with being critical, the next time you feel some comment try to bubble out, hold it in and replace it with a compliment and some type of reassurance. Do not forget to do this to yourself as well. Use your own practical nature to love people. Remember that love and gentleness is practical. This strengthens our mental health and helps us become stronger for our next set of struggles. Love is fuel for strength.

Scorpio placements in Moon, Ceres, or 4th house

Scorpio, as infamously mentioned throughout this article, is a complicated sign. Death, transformation, and rebirth don't exactly mesh well with motherhood. As mentioned with Lilith, your mother may have been very intense, possibly explosive, or secretive. Your mother may have also seen you as being too intense and reacted poorly to your outbursts as a result. Scorpio is known for being loyal, you may feel that complicated, bittersweet loyalty towards your mother. Feeling overly protective of her while being heavily resentful of her poor behavior towards you. This is trauma bond energy. As with mars, however, there is a lot of conflict present between you and her. Secrets live here and some level of mystery.

8th house placements in Moon or Ceres

The 8th house is Scorpio's home. Regardless of the sign your Ceres or Moon falls into, it is going to be weird. You can feel deeply tied to your mother, whether through witnessing her own hardship or being hurt by her directly. To me, this is adjacent to you and your mother being stuck in bad situations with each other, possibly associating these experiences with the other person and treating them poorly because of it. The actions here and the situations are what end up being transformative rather than direct personality conflicts. Your mother may either be absent from your life when you need her or be so close and in your business that you feel suffocated. There is potential for hardcore loyalty here to your mother or vice versa. The loneliness here is loud because, regardless of whether your mother was in your life or not, she was distracted by other things. There is a loss here, a death of motherhood that feels like isolation, and in your social life you may continue to feel this even when you have close friends around you. Because there was some kind of distance with your mother here (physical or emotional), you may feel incapable of properly opening up to others, trusting people with your feelings. You may feel like no matter what happens or who you meet, they could never possibly understand you. In fact, you may not even understand yourself all the time, and that too is hard. The 8th house forces whatever planet or sign is within it to live by Scorpio's rules. Living by loyalty, keeping secrets, constant death, rebirth, and a cyclical redefinition of who you are on repeat over countless years. Seeking water signs and earth signs as friends and partners can be very healing. The steadiness of an earth sign can make you feel more stable throughout the tough times, and the sweetness and understanding of a water sign can be very helpful in building trust. It is important to accept that you will get hurt emotionally throughout your life. These are teachable moments if you let them be. Do not go through life avoiding close relationships because you think people cannot handle you. Some people cannot handle you just as you cannot handle certain other people. It is important to remember that there are others like you who can understand that pain of it all. I will warn against pursuing other people who have 8th house placements that directly interact with your 8th house. Be mindful when your placements interact with their 8th house as well. The 8th house in synastry can create deep and lasting bonds but most of the time it causes death and transformation for better or for worse.

12th house placements in Moon or Ceres

The 12th house is a confusing one. This is Pisces' house, relating to dreams, illusions, the subconscious, and similar to the 8th house, it relates to isolation and endings. Your mother may have been kind, or gentle, or even had a habit of victimizing herself (or just being a victim in bad situations) This house brings a strong desire to escape and possibly problems with addiction. Your mother may have been an addict or not exactly present in your life in a way that was stable. This could also indicate that your mother or you may struggle with mental illness of some kind, possibly schizophrenia or delusions. Your mother may have actually been quite loving to you, but lacked enough discipline to meet your physical needs in a steady manner. You, yourself, are overtly kind and very loving to others. However, there is also a massive lack of steadiness present here. You are capable of leaving quite suddenly, particularly if you were not properly supported by your parents as a child. Be careful to ground yourself. Do not allow yourself to drift off on fantasies too often. Maladaptive daydreaming is fun, but it can lead to a very unlived life. It is important to take some lessons here from Virgo and try to be practical about things. The everyday, menial tasks matter just as much as hugs and kisses from your loved ones.

Suffice to say,

Learning about your placements and finding areas of struggle or trauma can help you better understand yourself. Never use it as an excuse to act poorly, but use this knowledge as a spotlight, helping you locate where you may need to heal and better yourself so you can improve your quality of life.